Anson, Iva, Rory and the baby
by Amelia Elizabeth
Summary: AU. Starting on New Year's Eve aboard Voyager, Kathryn and Chakotay enjoy a few quiet moments together between interruptions from their three (soon to be four) children. The continuing story of their growing family. Sweet family fluff and pregnancy fic.
1. Chapter 1 - New Year's Eve

Anson, Iva, Rory and the baby.  
by Amelia Elizabeth

I don't own them because if I did, things would have ended up just like this.

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Kathryn smiled as she gazed up at her husband. He held her close in his arms, the deep blue satin of her gown softly rustling against his tuxedo as they slowly moved across the dance floor. She hadn't wanted to come; she'd been feeling rather lousy all day but her husband finally convinced her to come. He said it would be good for her. She said none of her dresses fit anymore. He said replicate a new one. She said her feet were too swollen for shoes. He said then go barefoot. She said that she was too huge and pregnant for all this. He just dragged her out the door.

He'd been right of course. Coming to the annual crew New Years Ball was a wonderful chance to see almost all of her offices in a much more relaxed setting. She'd smiled and laughed as they all shared their memories of the year before and their hopes for the future. And Kathryn proudly let them all touch her swollen belly to feel the movements of their newest crewmember.

A sharp kick from the baby brought her attention back to her stomach, which, as her husband had noted, was warmly snuggled between the two of them as they danced. Kathryn winced as another tiny foot jabbed her bladder, which she was just beginning to realize was incredibly and uncomfortably full. She grimaced and her husband gave her a knowing smile as she quickly made a beeline for the bathroom. It never fails, she thought.

When she came back into the mess hall a few moments later feeling quite relieved, she saw that her dance partner had been taken. In her husband's arms was their four-year-old daughter, her head sleepily resting on his shoulders and her arms grasped tightly around his neck. The ruffles of her party dress were slightly rumpled as she wrapped her chubby little legs around her strong father. Her hair, which her mother had painstakingly pulled into a tight bow, had fallen out of its fastener and now cascaded down her shoulders in soft reddish brown waves. She looked up at her father with a look of pure adoration.

On her husband's other side was their older daughter, a very precocious eight, who held on to her father's hand as he twirled her around the room, careful not to disturb the little one. Like her sister, she had on a ruffled and layered white dress and she loved how it flared out as she spun around and around. She swung her father's arm back and forth, running under it and always turning back to make sure that he was still there. He was of course. Kathryn could tell without even seeing his face how happy he was.

The little one saw her first. "Mama!" she cried as Kathryn made her way slowly over to them. The little girl held out her arms for her father and Kathryn gave her a tight squeeze but did not lift her from her father's shoulder. The girl looked disappointed. "I want to go up, Mama," she said.

"I know, sweetheart," Kathryn sighed. "But Mama has a baby in her belly," she guided her daughter's small hands to the rounded curve of her baby bump, "and so I can't pick you up right now. Daddy can, though and I can give you lots and lots of hugs."

Rory Janeway pondered this as she ran her fingers along the pleats of her mother's gown. Unlike her older siblings, Rory had never seen her mother pregnant before and was not quite sure what to make of things. She always wanted to be held, but at four years old, she was just too big for her expectant mother to lift.

"Can I have another hug since you can't pick me up?" she finally asked.

"Of course you can," Kathryn said as she held her daughter close. She brushed a lock of hair behind the little girl's ear. Rory in turn reached up and pulled a stray wisp of her mother's hair back behind her ear. Kathryn held her daughter's hand and kissed it.

"Mama! Mama! Did you see me spinning out there?" her older daughter Iva asked. If Rory had become more clingy during this pregnancy, than Iva had become much more assertive, Kathryn thought. She seemed determined to make sure that both her parents knew exactly what she was doing at all times.

"I did, honey, and you looked so beautiful," she smiled.

"Daddy said I had to dance with him since you were too pregnant," Iva said matter-of-factly.

"Did he?" Kathryn laughed as she caught a sheepish grin from her husband.

"Uh huh," Iva continued, "he says the baby is always making you go to the bathroom and sneeze and not sleep well and not dance and…"

"Iva…" her father cautioned.

"And he said you look really beautiful tonight."

"I'm sure he did. What do you say, Daddy, you want to be pregnant for the rest of the time with this one?" she held her belly protectively.

Before Chakotay could respond, Iva chimed in again. "Mama! He can't hold a baby in his tummy. Only you can. Only mamas can have babies. Everyone knows that."

Kathryn smiled as her daughter proudly stood in front of her, arms folded and giving her father a death glare. Kathryn wrapped her own arms around the little girl and bending down as gracefully as she could to give Iva a kiss on the cheek. "Of course you're right. What was I thinking?"

"Mama's got a baby in her brain!" cried Rory. Kathryn made a mental note not to talk so much about having pregnancy brain, something she admitted was happening more and more this time around. The girls were bound to pick up and repeat anything they heard, often and loudly.

In fact, when Kathryn had found out that she was pregnant eight months earlier, she and Chakotay hadn't bothered to even make an announcement to the crew, beyond telling their closest friends. Instead they told Iva, Rory and their older brother Anson who then proceeded to race through the ship screaming with glee, "Mama's having a baby!" Everyone knew in less than 30 minutes.

Her husband caught her gaze briefly. "Feeling better?" he asked sympathetically.

"Much. Although give me time," she sighed, "and I'll be back in the bathroom again."

He bent down to set Rory on the ground and she and her older sister raced away, leaving their parents in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by dancing couples.

"Would you like to pick up where we left off?" he asked, extending a hand.

"I'd love to," she said as she settled into his arms, one of her hands on his shoulder, the other lightly clasping his. His other hand rested on the small of her back and the swell of her belly gently nudged his flat abdomen.

"Did you really tell the girls that I was too pregnant to dance?" she asked mischievously.

"I did," he grinned. "Iva saw you leave so suddenly before that she thought something was wrong. I turned it into a joke to calm her down. She seemed to think was hilarious that you couldn't dance without running off to the bathroom."

"Is she very worried about all this?"

"She isn't sure what to expect. I think she just doesn't want to miss anything important."

"Well if this one is anything like her siblings, she'll take her sweet time getting here." Kathryn sighed as she remembered being overdue with both Anson and Iva and struggling through twenty-hour labors with each. It had been absolutely exhausting but so incredibly worth it when she held each of her children in her arms for the very first time.

"Still convinced this one is a girl?" her husband mused.

She nodded. "She's a kicker like Iva was and she's making my feet swell up like balloons." She tried to look down at her bare feet but she couldn't see past her belly. "I'm huge and I'm emotional and I've been sick for 37 weeks. Face it Commander, you are still going to be outnumbered in three weeks."

That's the way I like it," he kissed her on the forehead. Without her heels, she barely came up to his chin and she was in no condition to stand on tiptoes.

"Speaking of boys," she smiled, "where is ours?"

"Over there," her husband nodded to where one of her helmsmen stood with her eldest balanced on his shoulders. The pilot looked like he was enjoying himself just as much as her nine-year-old son as they danced. If the girls were inquisitive and adventurous like their mother, then Anson with his dark hair and kind eyes was all his father, in temperament and in looks. Anson was their peacemaker. He romped with his sisters but he was always looking out for them and more than once he had told his mother how excited he was for their newest sibling to arrive. He had been the sweetest, easiest child and Chakotay had liked to joke that their son had completely spoiled them by being an utterly perfect toddler. Maybe that was why they had had Iva so soon after Anson and Iva was why there was such a large gap before Rory.

"Are you sure that's safe?" Kathryn asked quietly as Anson let go of his hold on the pilot. His hands were now free in the air and he waved a big hello over to his parents. Chakotay waved back.

"Katie, he's fine. This crew knows how to take care of our children. They've been doing it for nine years," he smiled. "They also know not to mess with a heavily pregnant captain."

"It took them three pregnancies to learn that one."

"Accidentally knocking out power to seven decks during your first trimester with Rory isn't what I'd call messing with you," he mused, "but secretly stashing spare parts to build a new flyer may have been pushing it."

"They are a good crew, aren't they?" she said, looking from her laughing son to where her daughters were spinning around in the arms of two engineers, their smiles as wide as could be.

"Yes they are."

"And they are going to love this baby whenever she gets here?"

"Yes they will. And so will I." He placed his hands on her belly and began rubbing it in small circles. "Even if she makes my wife uncomfortable and beautiful and round. I love her already."

"And you'll love me even if I had to interrupt our dancing again to go to the bathroom?" she asked looking up at him.

"I'll love you even if you have to interrupt our dancing again to go to the bathroom," he said with a laugh.

"Good, because I'll be right back."

###


	2. Chapter 2 - Sleep Or Lack Thereof

Several days later:

Chakotay ran his hand through his hair and rubbed his eyes. It felt like he had been up for hours and between captaining voyager and raising three children, it wasn't that far from the truth. He sighed and reluctantly began reading again. Engineering needed a new gamma shift duty officer, three replicators were down on deck 4 and one of the biologists was threatening to exile himself in the holodeck unless his department got more time on away missions. He glanced at the clock, 0200 hours. He would be on duty again in 4 hours. Maybe he would have to give Kathryn's vice of choice a try.

He put down the report and closed his eyes. He could faintly hear whispering coming from his bedroom. Reluctantly, he stood up and walked over to the room. If one of the kids had climbed into bed and woken their mother up, he'd have to deal with that before he tackled his ever growing list of projects.

He came to the doorway and stopped. His wife sat on the bed, alone, her legs crossed with her burgeoning belly looking even larger than before and her arms cradling it. She looked exhausted, hair falling out of the braid she had put it in to sleep and dark circles under her eyes. Chakotay frowned.

"Hi," she said quietly.

"I heard voices," he said. "I thought one of the kids had come in, I didn't think…"

"This little one is having a little trouble sleeping tonight," she winced as she placed a hand on her belly. "I thought maybe hearing my voice would help calm her down."

"Is it working?" he asked, sitting down next to her on the bed.

"No, not really," she sighed. "And she hasn't been feeling like a 'little one' that much either."

"Oh darling," he kissed her on the head and stroked her hair. "I'm sorry. Maybe I can help." He gently helped her ease herself back down on the bed, her head nestled in the extra pillows she'd sworn they would never need. He placed a hand on her heavily pregnant stomach and began gently rubbing, feeling their unborn child inside.

"Now kiddo," he began softly, "I thought we had an agreement. Your mother is very tired and she is going to need all the sleep she can get before you are born, especially if you are anything like the last three we've had. So I would really appreciate it if you would settle down for the evening. You'll have plenty of time to play once you get here." He felt a slight kick underneath his palm and smiled. "Good."

He looked up at his wife, her eyes closed and her breathing slow and deep. His eyes moved from her tangled red hair and her peaceful expression down to her swollen belly, slowing rising and falling with each breath. He didn't know how she had done it. Six weeks ago when she went on maternity leave, he had once again inherited all of her responsibilities as captain and even now he was still trying to catch up. It had been easier the first time she got pregnant, but he hadn't known it then. He had been so worried that he would not be up to the task or that Kathryn would somehow find him unfit for the job. He had asked her about it once, or rather she had wrangled it out of him.

_"Is everything all right?" she asked. "You look worried."_

_"It's nothing."_

_"You keep running your hand through your hair," she said as she sat down next to him._

_"And?"_

_"And that is always a sure sign that you are worrying."_

_"Oh really?" he couldn't help but smile at how proud she had been that she figured him out._

_"Is it about the baby? I told you the Doctor told me I am right on schedule for 31 weeks._

_He sighed, "I wish I had been there."_

_She reached out to touch his cheek. "I know. I wish you had been there too. But that's not what you are worrying about, is it?"_

_"You don't think having a wife 31 weeks pregnant with your first child is cause for a little anxiety?"_

_"No," she smiled, "I'm sure it is. But I think there is something else."_

_"You should definitely switch to the counseling division, my darling. You know how to just pry it out of me."_

_"So what's wrong?"_

_He looked her straight in the eye. "Do you think I'm ready to captain this ship?"_

_"Of course I do. That is why I chose you as first officer. I knew at any moment you would be able to assume command of this ship and this crew."_

_"Really? I though I got the job to quell a Maquis insurrection."_

_"That too." She stood slowly and began picking up the dinner dishes. He followed her into the kitchen._

_"But I'm serious. In another week, you'll go on maternity leave and I'll have to sit in that chair. I don't think I'm ready for it."_

_She shrugged her shoulders and handed him a towel to dry. "None of us are. Your first command is never what you expect it to be. It is a real lesson in staying in the moment and letting things play out the way they will."_

_"I can hardly wait."_

_She stopped what she was doing and walked over to where he stood. "I think you are making too big a deal out of this. It is no different than when you hold the bridge during the beta watch."_

_"It is completely different! When I hold the bridge, I always know that if worst comes to worst, I can ask you for advice. The idea of being completely accountable for every single life on this ship…" _

_"It sounds like you'd like someone to share the blame with."_

_"Kathryn, I've learned more from you than from a decade of Starfleet training. I just wish I had more time."_

_"So you would worry more?" she raised an eyebrow at him and gave him 'the look'._

_He sheepishly grinned. "Basically."_

_"You can be incredibly sweet and caring and overthinking sometimes, you know," she reached up to kiss him on the check before going back to the dishes. "You're ready."_

And she had been right of course. But every time she got pregnant and every time she went on leave he went through it all over again. He had known she was a strong woman from the day he met her, but he never really understood what it meant to be a captain until it was his turn. She had trained him well though. That is what she would always say when he said he was spending another late night working. Like tonight.

He smiled at his wife again as he brushed her hair off her face. Slowly he got up to leave, but he felt a hand on his. Kathryn opened her eyes, just a little.

"Don't go," she whispered. "We like it when you are here," she guided his hand back down to her belly.

"All right," he said. "Move over just a little, lady with a baby." He laid down next to his wife, his hand still resting on her baby bump. The little one was quiet and Kathryn was asleep, her head nestled against his. He sighed. The reports could wait. She had taught him that much.


	3. Chapter 3 - Soon

A couple of days later:

Rory snuggled in closer to her mother. It was nearly bedtime and Kathryn was sure that Rory knew it, but the little girl made no move to go to her own bed. They had been sitting together on the big bed for almost an hour, Kathryn reading a report on the latest pulsar they were passing (the only report Chakotay cared to share with her) and Rory had one of Iva's old Flotter stories. She'd read it so many times that she had memorized it but whenever anyone suggested that perhaps they invest in a new Flotter adventure book, Rory crossed her arms like her mother and said no.

Rory loved spending time with her mother and by extension time with the baby. She loved to press her little hands against her mother's belly to feel her sibling inside. She loved to imagine what the baby was thinking when she started kicking. Rory decided that the baby was trying to swim but to Kathryn it felt more like a soccer match. The baby did more than kick, as Kathryn was painfully aware. After one particularly sleepless night, the Doctor had joked that perhaps she was having twins. Kathryn had paled so visibly that the Doctor rushed to assure her that she only had one very active little baby inside.

When Rory wasn't prancing around telling everyone who asked and some who didn't that the baby already had a name (Kathryn blamed her husband for that one. It had all but settled the discussion since they realized that it would be incredibly hard to break the kids of the habit), she was calling it "little fishy baby." "Little fishy baby did this today," or "little fishy baby is swimming, Daddy," or "Ow! Little fishy baby hurt Mama!" Still, Kathryn was amazed at how well her four-year-old was handling the impending change in her life. She understood that she was no longer going to be the baby of the family and she understood that even though her parents would be giving the new one a lot of attention, they still loved her dearly. She seemed to understand everything. Everything except why her mother could no longer pick her up in her arms.

Kathryn's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of hammering coming from the living room. He had been working on the crib for the last four months, having decided that the crib that had held Anson, Iva and Rory would no longer do. After she casually mentioned to him that since she was older and this was her fourth pregnancy she was very likely to go into labor early, he had been frantically spending every spare minute on it. It was a beautiful crib, she thought. A half finished baby blanket was draped across it, something she had been working on during the day while the children were at school. Like her husband she was now hurriedly trying to finish it. Only sewing was a lot quieter than construction.

"Chakotay?" Kathryn called.

"Yeah?" the hammering stopped.

"Are you…" she wasn't sure how to say it. "… almost finished?"

"Why?" he said, coming into the bedroom. "Have the contractions started? Should I call the Doctor?" a worried look flickered across his face.

"No, I'm fine," she said trying to reassure him. He sat down on the bed next to her and placed his hands gently on top of hers on her belly. Immediately, Rory jumped up and scrambled into his arms, sitting down on his lap. Well, Kathryn thought, she could handle one parent paying attention to the baby but not two.

"What do you think, Rory?" he asked his youngest daughter. "Is it time for bed?"

"No!" Rory pouted.

"Come on, Ror." He leaned close and whispered in his daughter's ear, loud enough so that Kathryn could hear too. "I think Mama and the baby are getting tired. We wouldn't want the baby to get jealous that you get to stay up later, do we?"

Rory thought that one over. Chakotay looked over her head and at Kathryn, mouthing the words, "a little help?" Kathryn got the message. She faked a yawn; only it turned into a real one. Rory giggled.

"Come on, little girly. Let's get you in bed so that your poor Mama can finally get some sleep." Chakotay scooped his daughter up in his arms, careful to bring the Flotter book along too. "You can read a little more before bed, okay? Say goodnight."

"Good night fishy baby!" Rory called out with a wave.

"And…" her father prompted.

"Good night, Mama!"

Kathryn laughed in spite of herself. "Goodnight, sweetheart. Sleep well." She watched as her husband carried the little girl over to her bedroom. He soon came back and sat back down on the bed.

"Are you sure you are feeling all right?" he looked into her eyes carefully.

"Of course, I'm just tired… and I'm pregnant. I'm still pregnant. I keep waiting to wake up in the morning and not have this big belly any more." She sighed.

"You're beautiful, you know," he smiled, kissing her forehead. "You are a natural mother."

"With swollen ankles and all."

"Yes, I suppose so. Would you like me to rub them?" he asked.

"I think that is what got us into this mess in the first place," she laughed as he stretched out beside her. Her husband looked at her with such love and care, as if he didn't have any cares in the world except for her and the kids, as if he wasn't captain of a starship. He balanced it all very well, she thought, especially this last trimester. But Chakotay had never once complained, never once made her feel as if she were alone. She had to remember to thank him for that when all this was over.

"Two more weeks," she smiled.

"Two more weeks," he repeated. "Or sooner," he laughed.

"Or sooner," she said, kissing him.


	4. Chapter 4 - Walking

A few days later:

They had been walking for only about half an hour, but to Kathryn it felt longer. Time seemed to slow down when the first contractions began oh so early that morning. She'd tried to go back to sleep, remembering how the first time she was pregnant she had bolted out of bed at the first sign of labor. By now, after delivering three healthy children, she knew her body and what to expect. And she knew that things moved slowly.

She'd stayed in bed for a couple more hours until she felt the need to get up and move around. Her husband watched with a bemused smile as she "waddled" (she truly hated that word) around their quarters tidying things up. It suddenly seemed like their home was no where near ready for a new arrival.

Around the time that Iva left for her music lesson and Rory went to the babysitter, Kathryn and Chakotay had stopped by sickbay to see how the labor was progressing. Kathryn already knew what he would say. "Slowly." This little one was in no hurry, but her mother was more than ready. The Doctor suggested that she walk the ship's corridors for a little while to try to speed things up. And her son Anson offered to walk with her.

Anson had heard somewhere that it was very good for pregnant women to walk around a lot and so he decided that he would make sure his mother got the exercise she needed. For the entire third trimester, every evening the two of them would walk a slow circuit from their quarters down to sickbay, the science labs and the computer core before turning around and coming back home. Sometimes they talked about the baby, how Anson was sure that this one would be a girl but how he still thought Asa would be a good name for a baby brother; about his younger sisters; about his day; about almost anything they felt like. Always they walked hand in hand.

Today though, Anson seemed to be deep in thought. He asked her a couple of questions about how she was feeling and how soon she thought the baby would come, but that was it. He studied her carefully and Kathryn knew that her nine-year-old son was mentally keeping track of her contractions. She'd smiled at that.

Every ten minutes or so, the dull ache in her back and the hardness in her belly would return and she would stop walking and close her eyes. At first she would lean against the bulkhead and focus on her breathing but by now she was holding on to both of Anson's hands as the pain began to ripple through her. Her arms were held out in front of her, her own larger hands in Anson's smaller ones and her head down. His hands were held up to meet hers and to steady her, his young face looking intently up at hers. His eyes were so clear and his face so earnest that Kathryn found herself holding his strong gaze even when the pain grew stronger.

She had always known that her son was strong and wise beyond his years but she hadn't fully realized the depth of it until they were standing in the hallway, waiting for the contraction to end. Anson didn't shy away as she squeezed his hands tightly and bit her lip as the pain reached its peak. He calmly looked up at her, sometimes smiling, sometimes giving her whispers of encouragement. She leaned close and focused on him, her beautiful boy with his dark eyes and his deep brown hair. He looked just like his father, except for the faint freckles that dotted his nose and cheeks. She wondered if the new baby would look like him, or like her daughters with their reddish brown locks and their hazel eyes.

She felt the contraction coming to an end and she began to breathe normally again. Anson noticed the change and gave her a small smile.

"How are you doing?" he asked after she sighed.

"I'm alright," she said. "That last one was pretty long."

"63 seconds," he reported.

"You were counting?" she smiled as they began to walk again.

"Uh huh," he nodded eagerly. "Dad said I should keep track since you never remember too." That sounded very much like his father. Chakotay had been a little uneasy when Anson asked if he could walk her around the ship but Kathryn had said that it was fine. The Doctor had agreed and that had settled it.

"I think you are still in active labor," he continued, "not yet in transition, but you should probably go see the Doctor again real soon," he looked up at her for approval. "Is that right?"

She had to laugh at that. "It sounds right to me. Every birth is different. Things can go quickly or they can take quite a while. It is all up to this little one," she gingerly patted her rounded belly.

"Are you patient for her to come?"

"Just a little," she admitted. "Are you?"

"Uh huh," he said. "Dad is going to stay with you the whole time, right?" Anson had been worrying about what would happen if she went into labor while Chakotay was on the bridge like he was now.

"Yes, he'll be there from start to finish," she assured him.

"And you'll call us as soon as we can come see her?"

"You will be the first to know."

"Even before Uncle Tom?"

"Way before Uncle Tom," Kathryn laughed as she said that. Of course, Tom would know before the kids as Tom was planning to help with the delivery. He, like the rest of the crew, were just as anxious as she was to meet the long-awaited fourth Janeway child.

"I like walking with you, Mom," Anson said quietly as they rounded the corner for home.

"I like walking with you too, kiddo."


	5. Chapter 5 - Maura

An hour later:

She wasn't sure who had suggested the name Maura first. She thought it had been Tom. His mother's name had been Maura and the name seemed like a fitting tribute to the family that had played such an important role in Kathryn's life. That, and Tom and B'Elanna had already used the name Owen for her godson, she smiled to herself.

Maura Paris had been a firm believer in the theory that every Starfleet officer needed someone to come home to. She travelled up to the space docks to meet Owen's ships for every shore leave, holiday break and joyous return from a mission, always with a smile on her face. All the other spouses knew the Captain's wife and always knew that they could turn to her when something came up. When one of the junior officers received a last minute long weekend of shore leave, Maura stepped in to watch his two children so he and his wife could have a special vacation. Whenever someone had a baby, Maura was one of the first on the scene, cooking and cleaning and helping the new mother with whatever needed to be done so that they could spend all their time with the baby. And of course, Maura baked. Every new crewmember got a package of cookies or brownies when they received their orders. Kathryn used to call it "Sweets from Mrs. Paris to thicken your skin against Captain Paris." She could still remember the basket of warm peanut butter brownies that she found on her apartment doorstep moments after receiving her first commission on the Al-Batani.

When Maura had died suddenly, the energy and passion that she used to send with Owen on his missions deserted him. Without someone to come back to, Owen began taking longer and longer Deep Space missions, rarely making it back to Earth. Tom had only been 17 then, dead-set on joining the Federation Naval Patrol, but the loss of his mother changed his mind.

Tom would never admit it but Kathryn knew the reason he had eventually decided on Starfleet was because he simply wanted to be close to his father. Without Maura as his anchor, Owen plunged headlong into the fleet and Tom felt that he had no other choice but to follow.

He had waited until he was visiting his father's ship to let him know of his decision. Owen was hosting a dinner for all his officers and by this time Kathryn was his second officer and chief of scientific research. The Captain had been particularly quiet all night, only occasionally muttering monosyllabic answers to the otherwise lively conversation. Tom on the other hand was animatedly talking with the other officers, making fast friends with them all. Of the senior staff, only Kathryn and the first officer had met Tom before. And only the two of them knew what Tom had planned.

He had found Kathryn earlier that day in her office over looking the Galaxy-class ship's three stories of science labs. Without waiting for permission to enter, he had come in and casually flopped down on the nearest chair, propping his legs up on the coffee table.

"And hello to you too, Mr. Paris," she had said with a bemused grin.

"Hi Katie, how goes it?" he had asked.

"Fine," she said, mildly amused. He'd only ever asked her how 'it' (her science work) once before and it had ended with him regretting it. From then on, he never asked her how anything was going with her. Something was up, she had thought.

"You know my father's schedule, don't you?" he finally had asked.

"Yes, all his senior officers do."  
"Is he doing anything important this evening?"

"Just dinner with the senior staff. Why?"

"Good, I can tell him then." He had hopped out of the chair and walked out the door. Kathryn had then dropped what she was doing and raced after him.

"Tell him what, Tom?" she had asked, a puzzled expression on her face.

"That I'm joining the fleet," he had grinned.

"Are you serious? Congratulations!" she had stuck out her hand for him to shake but he just swept her up into a big hug.

"Thanks, Katie. Now try and act surprised when I tell him later."

She had been surprised but not by what Tom said but by what Owen said, or didn't say. When Tom finished, Owen had only nodded and said that it was about time. The table had fallen awkwardly silent at that point, with everyone else frozen as Owen continued to eat and Tom only stared. Kathryn had tried to give him a reassuring look but Tom only had eyes for his father.

After dinner, she found Tom alone in the flag quarters laying on his bed and tossing a ball against the ceiling and catching it with one fluid motion. She sat down on the corner of the bed without saying anything.

"He didn't even look at me," Tom finally said.

"I know, kiddo. It wasn't you…"

"Then what was it?" he sat up. "I thought he would be so proud that I was following in his footsteps but he doesn't care about me at all. All he cares about is this ship and his work."

"Tom, I don't know what to say about how he reacted. I thought he would be happy too." She put her arm around his shoulders. "But the choices you make with your life can't be about him. It has to be what you want. And by god if you want to join us out here in the deep then I say, welcome aboard, Mr. Paris."

She had spent the rest of the evening working on his academy application with him, discussing the captains who had already offered to sponsor shim and how he knew without a doubt that he wanted to be a pilot.

She had come to his graduation ceremony four years later with his father. The time had begun to soften Owen a little but he still missed Maura desperately. His relationship with his only son had suffered in the meantime. Just as Tom was heading out into space, Owen was transitioning to the admiralty. The fast-burning nature of Tom's short Starfleet career had only increased the distance between them. When Owen was finally rebuilding his life without Maura, Tom was taking up "permanent residency" in New Zealand.

Kathryn hadn't told Owen of her plan to get Tom back into the fleet. She knew he wouldn't want anything to do with it or worse, he'd think she was doing it as a favor to him. She wasn't of course. By the time she got her commission to Voyager, she didn't give a damn what Owen thought, only Admiral Paris.

Tom had balked at her suggestion at first. "But I'm already doing a job. For the Federation." His taunt did little to mask his insecurity about returning to a ship as an officer. He was terrified, he later admitted, and certain that he would only screw things up. She assured him that she had complete confidence in him and if anyone had a problem with his working on the ship, they could take it up with her. She knew there would be problems but it didn't matter. Tom didn't belong in New Zealand anymore than she did, and she'd be damned if she didn't do everything in her power to get him on his feet again.

And it worked, she marveled now, looking at the officer who sat across from her. Tom had flourished on Voyager. What was only a temporary assignment for his piloting skills turned into a full commission when the conn officer and the helmsman were both killed. He jumped into the chair and didn't look back. After a few years, he started a training course to teach other crewmen how to pilot the ship and the shuttles. He championed the designing of a new shuttle class specifically for the Delta Quadrant and he built a whole new interface and operating system for the project. And of course, he fell in love.

Tom and B'Elanna's courtship was tumultuous, loud, occasionally violent and often on the point of collapse. But it worked. They loved each other dearly and Kathryn was thrilled when they came to her asking to be married. She said of course, so long as they did not mind a pregnant captain officiating their wedding. Anson was born a few months later. And it wasn't long before B'Elanna had come to her one day, very quiet and asking if it would be all right if she took restricted duty until the morning sickness passed.

Miral Kathryn Torres Paris was born a few months after Iva and Owen Edward Torres Paris arrived two years after that. Kathryn had been completely shocked and incredibly honored when Tom told her Miral's middle name and even more so when they asked if she and Chakotay would be godparents for the children. Tom and B'Elanna were Anson, Iva and Rory's godparents so for them it only seemed natural, but for Kathryn it was a very special honor.

And when she found out about baby #4, they warned Tom and B'Elanna that they would soon have another godchild running around. They were trilled of course and immediately began suggesting baby names to go with Anson, Iva and Rory. That night at dinner, Tom had suggested Maura. Kathryn had been wondering about it but she wanted Tom's blessing on it. He had said of course, that he would love it if she named her daughter in honor of his mother.

They spent the rest of the evening coming up with more name ideas, like Lena, Amelia, Emma, Mackenzie, Callan and Asa. But she kept coming back to Maura. She loved the way the name sounded and she loved how it reminded her of a woman she loved dearly. But what was most important was that Tom and Chakotay had told her children that the baby was going to be named Maura if it was a girl. For the next eight months all the children talked about was "baby Maura, baby Maura." No matter how many times Kathryn corrected them that it was just "baby," the children were insistent. Well, she knew where they got their stubbornness.

Maura. She liked the name a lot. The entire family had settled on it too which was a minor miracle. She still had her list of boy names just in case and as Chakotay often reminded her, they still had that whole middle name thing to figure out. She would just shrug and tell him that they would figure it out with the little one got there. If she ever got there.

A sharp twinge brought her back to the present, where she sat patiently on a biobed, her large pregnant belly draped in a medical gown. Her husband stood beside her holding her hand in his and Tom sat nearby looking over his notes and conferring with the Doctor. Finally, he stood and walked over to her with a shy grin on his face.

"Okay, Katie," he said quietly, "It's time."


	6. Chapter 6 - The Question

Note: This story is mostly told in flashbacks. Thanks to Mrs. Singing Violin for helping me get the creative juices going. Hope you all enjoy this and please review! As always, I don't own them because if I did, things would have turned out just like this.

###

He watched his wife as she closed her eyes and began focusing on her breathing. In and out, in and out, just like they had practiced. His eyes traced the monitors around the room watching the numbers fluctuate as the contractions came and went and increased in strength. He saw her heart rate as well as that of the baby that would soon leave the protection of her body.

A gentle squeeze on his hand brought him back to his wife who was now looking up at him. She looked calm, calmer than he was but she looked tired too. A monitor beeped and Kathryn moaned softly as the pain grew. "You are doing just fine, sweetheart," he said, brushing the hair away from her face. "This little one is going to be here before you know it."

###

The first time he asked her if she ever wanted to have children was a disaster or as near to it as could be. They had been talking as they shared breakfast one day, long before they had even acknowledged that they had feelings for one another. They had been eating, he remembered. Well, he had been eating. She had just been sipping her coffee and looking distracted. It was around the time Naomi was born and that milestone event had gotten them all thinking about what it would take to transform Voyager into a fully generational ship. Out of nowhere though, he asked her.

"Have you ever thought about having children?"

She nearly choked on her coffee. "W-What?" she sputtered.

"Have you ever thought about having children?" he repeated, slightly bemused at how completely caught off-guard she was. He took another bite of his rehydrated eggs.

"What kind of question is that?" she asked angrily.

"Captain, I didn't mean to overstep…"

"No, I'm sorry," she sighed. She thought about it for a moment. "I suppose I have. I thought at some point I would have children, preferably back on Earth with my family close by." She sighed. He hadn't expected that. He expected her to just brush off his question with the usual nonsense about captains not having lives, ever. "But I don't think like that nay more, Commander," her tone turned serious. "I've got far too many responsibilities on this ship to even consider bringing another life form into this situation." She almost smiled. "I mean, can you imagine me big and pregnant on the bridge facing down a hostile enemy?"

His face flushed and she saw it. "No, I suppose not," he said quietly.

"Anyways, I really don't have time for day dreaming, Commander. I've got a ship to get home. Excuse me." She left quickly, leaving him alone with his meal. He threw his fork down and put his head in his hands.

It was only much, much later that she had told him that as soon as she left the room, she fell back against the wall and clasped her hand over her mouth to keep from crying. She had been completely caught unaware by his question and really was not willing to admit that she had been thinking about children a lot lately, and how she would love to hold her own child in her arms, and now how she felt certain that the Delta Quadrant had smashed all her hopes and dreams about starting a family. His question had struck deeper than he would ever know and in that moment, she hated him for it. She hated how he could even think about such things as normal as family while their ship was stranded half a galaxy from home. Of course he could marry and have children, but at the time, she was certain she would not. And it hurt her deeply.

###

The second time he brought it up they were lying together in the hammocks they built on New Earth, swinging gently in the warm breeze. He didn't actually bring it up. He had mentioned that he would be building an addition on to their home just in case they ever needed it. It was Kathryn that had jumped to conclusions. And when she brought it up, he was just as shocked as she had been only months before.

"You know, you never answered for yourself," she said.

"About what?"

"You asked me if I wanted children, but I never got the chance to ask you the same thing."

"I suppose you didn't"

"So…" she asked, almost shyly, "do you want children someday?"

"Oh yes," he didn't hesitate.

"Even though we are out here?" He wasn't sure if she meant the Delta Quadrant in general or there on New Earth. It didn't matter to him though. He wanted to have a family and he told her as much.

"So you'd want to start a family with me?" she asked quietly.

He thought for a moment. "Yes I would. And not because you are the only other human for miles around."

She laughed. "Do you have feelings for me?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe." He raised an eyebrow back.

"Hmmm," she tried to hide her smile. Her skin flushed and he swore she that she looked pleased.

"You are enjoying this, aren't you" he said. "Watching me professing my undying devotion to you and our future children on the spot." She giggled at his melodramatic tones. "Yes, I like you. I think I love you, Kathryn and I think you know that." He paused. "Say something."

"I like you too," she said quietly.

"I knew it," he grinned. "And you want to have children, don't you?"

"Yes, I do." She bit her lip and then smiled. "I want them to have your sense of humor too." She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. He was stunned. It was the first time they had kissed or touched in an intimate way. She got out of her hammock and went inside, leaving him dumbfounded.

###

The third time they really spoke about it, after they had gotten back to Voyager and started their relationship and not too long after he had proposed, it was his fiancé that brought up their favorite topic. They were lounging in her quarters; her curled up against his shoulder, him with his legs stretched out against their old New Earth Coffee table. It was their usual position after a long day of work, though most nights they each had a PADD in their hands and were going over the pages and pages of reports that the daily operation of a starship generated. That night though, they were exhausted. The PADDs were still there, only that night they were piled high on the table waiting for the caffeine to kick in. Kathryn leaned close to her fiancé and sighed.

"I want a big family."

He smiled. "That wasn't what I was expecting."

"Oh really?" she said. "What did you have in mind?"

"I thought you would say how you couldn't possibly imagine how we could handle all of our work and care for a baby at the same time."

"No," she smiled. "Come hell or high water, we'll raise our children on this starship. My siblings were the most important people in my world growing up and I want our kids to have those same close relationships. I want them to be each other's best friends."

"Sounds like a plan to me," he kissed her on the head. "Just out of curiosity, how man children are we talking about?"

She grinned mischievously. "I don't have a set number. Maybe four, maybe eight."

"Well then, we'd better get started."

###

"I take it back! No kids, no pregnancies, none of this!" Kathryn was lying on the couch, her fee up against the armrest, a cool washcloth draped over her eyes. She held one hand across her face and the other hung limply down to the floor. She felt awful. She had never felt so awful in her life. She groaned; even thinking about it made her feel worse. She swallowed shakily.

"I mean it, Chakotay. If this is what it takes then I think one will just have to be enough!" He came into the living room carrying a glass of water with a straw and some salt crackers. He sat down on the couch next to her and she draped her legs across him.

"Have some water," he handed her the glass. "The Doc says you need to stay hydrated." She sipped slowly, testing to see if the water would go down. It did. It felt cool and soothing. She visibly relaxed and he gave her a look that seemed to say, "I told you so." He handed her a couple of crackers next. She nibbled on them gingerly. The salt felt good after the crisp water and she reached over for the reach of the crackers.

"Hand those miracle things over. I'm starving." She ate a couple more as he laughed.

"No wonder," he murmured. "I doubt you have anything left in your system anymore." He gently rubbed her belly where a small, small round bump was beginning to form. She sighed contentedly. She hadn't gone on duty that day. She hadn't felt much like leaving the bed for the couch, never mind commanding a ship. The Doctor had told them that everything she was feeling was normal, but it still didn't change the fact that she just wanted to curl up in a ball and wake up when it was all over. She hadn't expected it to be like this. She thought pregnancy would be filled with glowing mothers, serene and beautiful as their bodies changed. So far, all she felt was sick, sneezy and exhausted.

She sighed again. "Sorry for snapping at you. I'm not used to feeling … so … so helpless!"

"You are doing just fine, darling."

"I didn't mean it, you know, about not having other children."

"I know."

"I'm just terrified."

"That's okay. Me too."

"You're terrified?" she lifted the cloth from her forehead.

"Sure, al this is new. I've never been a father before. I've never had a pregnant wife before." Her hands joined his slowly rubbing circles on her stomach to sooth it. "It doesn't mean that I'm not excited to meet the little guy."

"He really is in there, isn't he?"

"Yes, he is. And you are still certain it's a boy?" he asked.

"Call it a mother's intuition. The two of us are getting to know each other very well." She sniffed as a tickle crept into her nose. Not again, she thought, wondering if she had a little Bajoran blood in her. The tickle passed without causing a sneezing fit. Good, she thought.

"I can't believe it, though. We are going to be parents, Chakotay." She almost whispered, as if afraid to acknowledge it.

He smiled and kissed her on the forehead.

###

The next time they really talked about having children seriously was when she was heavily pregnant with their third child. They were back on the couch again, still covered with reports that at least one of them, probably him since she was on maternity leave, would have to read before they turned in for the night. But now they had a four year old and a five year old curled up asleep on either side of their parents. Anson, his dark brown hair falling into his eyes, rested his head on his mother's thigh. He had been listening to the baby and it was only when he stopped announcing every movement he felt that she realized that he had fallen asleep. She was now stroking his hair absently as she watching her husband. Their daughter's lighter hair had been pulled loosely into two long braids and her tiny feet were stretched out on top of her father's. Chakotay sighed. Eventually, he would have to get up and carry the kids to their beds. Kathryn was far too pregnant to even attempt to lift the four-year-old sleeping deadweight known as Iva Janeway and Anson wasn't much easier. But for now, they just sat quietly, enjoying the feeling of having their whole family together.

"Have you ever thought about making this permanent?" she asked in a hushed tone.

He almost laughed out loud. "No thanks, I've already got a ring."

"That is not what I meant and you know it," she whispered. "Have you ever thought about what things would be like if you took over the Captaincy and I stayed home full-time with the kids? It would be like it is when I'm pregnant, I mean really pregnant. Like now. I like it."

"I like you being pregnant too," he gently rubbed her belly and was rewarded by a soft kick from his unborn daughter. They weren't sure if this one was a girl; well, Kathryn was. Having had one of each she said made her uniquely qualified to know that this one was in fact a girl. He didn't doubt her. She had been right so far.

"You didn't answer my question."

"About you being a stay-at-home mom?

"A girl can dream, can't she?"

"A girl can dream that she will be pregnant and barefoot for the rest of her days?"

"Point made," she smiled. "I do like it though, being able to spend each day with the kids, actually cook dinner…"

"… well, that I could learn to live without," he whispered. She slapped him playfully.

"Take care of my husband…"

"I know what you mean though. Sometimes I wish we lead normal lives and that our kids could grow up in a world where their parents weren't always the most important people in any room they walked into."

"And then?"

"And then I remember how much I love you and this ship and how much you love this ship. And, of course, how much you complained during your first maternity leave. I could never take all this away from you. This is your ship. And the kids," he stood up to scoop Iva up into his arms, "they love it here too. How could they not? They're our kids."

She smiled as he gently carried their daughter back to her room. Anson stirred a little in his sleep but she didn't wake him. A time would come soon enough when the attention of the family would be focused on the new baby and any special time her son got in his father's arms, even if he was half asleep, was special.

Chakotay came back and hoisted Anson up into his arms. Kathryn stood up too, slowly with her arms braced, one on the armrest of the couch and the other on her belly as she moved. She groaned softly as her back ached under the strain.

"Still want to have more of them?" her husband raised an eyebrow.

"Let's wait until I actually give birth to this one before making any rash decisions." She wrapped her arms around her belly, holding it protectively. "I do like this though."

"You're nesting, Katie."

She crossed her arms and pretended to frown at him.

"Come on, let's go to bed while everyone is still asleep for a change."

###

By the time their 4th pregnancy came around, they didn't have time for long conversations about the future. She had been feeling a little queasy one morning. She told him she thought she was pregnant again. He said okay and smiled. They went to the Doctor to confirm it later that afternoon and they told the kids that evening. And that was that.

"Hey," his wife said, raising a hand to trace his tattoo across his forehead. "You looked like you were lightyears away."

He smiled. "I was just thinking. Remembering."

"Tom says it's almost time to push."  
"Are you ready?"

She squeezed his hand tightly and smiled.


	7. Chapter 7 - Throw Pillows

Chapter 7: Throw pillows

"Keep breathing, Katie. You are doing just fine." His voice sounded faded and distant, but his face was close to hers. She looked at him closely, her eyes tracing the handsome shape of his cheek, his jaw, his brow, his eyes. She wanted the baby to have his eyes.

The pain subsided for a moment and she remembered where she was. She leaned back against the pillow that he had tucked into her hospital bag.

###

It was finally happening. They were moving in together. It had only made sense, really. He had been staying at her place for months and most of his stuff had already migrated from his quarters down the hall to hers. Or at least she had thought it was most of his stuff. It seemed that there was more. She hadn't realized how sparse her own room was; a couple of photos, some books, that microscope she swore should have fallen and broken by now. She hadn't "decorated" before they left. She didn't see the need. It was her ship but some how bringing all her personal belongings on board seemed to threaten the delicate balance she had created between the captain and Kathryn.

Even when it was abundantly clear that Voyager was not going to be going home anytime soon and her quarters became her private refuge in the midst of the most challenging experience of her life, she still left things plain and simple. Maybe, she always thought, if I don't unpack the boxes, we will still be able to make it home. That logic had lasted quite a while. Until her first officer told her that if she couldn't demonstrate through her choices in furniture that she had accepted their fate then no one on her crew would be able to accept it either.

So she got a couch

Well, "got" would probably be the wrong word. She repurposed it from the private dining hall that had been "occupied" by a kitchen. To some, it was just another piece of furniture in the room, but for her, it represented a significant shift in her ability to make the ship her home for the foreseeable future. She had realized, after a couple of evenings sitting apart from each other in the two standard issue armchairs, that she and Chakotay would need another type of chair if their relationship were to continue. It was silly. He would scoop her up in his arms and they would curl up in one of the armchairs, him laughing and her muttering about spilled coffee and not being able to get anything done. The couch was perfect. They spent every evening cuddled together on that couch, working or trying to work. Sometimes they would just talk. Like last night when he had said that it was probably time that they make all this official and free up his quarters for that extra storage bay the supply chiefs had been begging for.

Now he walked back through the doorway carrying what looked like four overstuffed small pillows.

"What are those things?" she asked, staring at them critically.

"These are throw pillows."

"Throw pillows?"

"I'm sure you've heard of them."

"I'm sure I haven't," she said frowning.

He sat down on the couch next to her and handed her one of the pillows. "They are like extra pillows that you use as decoration or extra comfort on a bed or couch."

She looked at the thing as if it were a leola root. "Why do you have them?"

"Because we have a couch and a bed."

"I don't think we are going to need them," she handed the offending object back to him.

"Just you wait."

###

It had started off simple enough, she thought. She had looked skeptically at the pillows but he kept finding uses for them. When she fell asleep on the couch, he would rest her head against one until he carried her to bed. When her headaches returned, he would prop her feet up on one. He had stashed a few in her ready room and always kept one on the bed and the couch. She would just raise an eyebrow at him, but always take the small gesture of comfort with a smile. But nothing could have prepared her for the myriad of uses he found for the small pillows when she got pregnant.

She sighed and rubbed her neck. He noticed the gesture and gave her a concerned look. "I think my knots are getting knots again."

"Do you want a shoulder rub?" he asked, putting down his papers.

She grinned. She had been hoping he would say that. "Yes please."

He handed her a pillow. "Here, put this in your lap."

"What?"

"This way, you can lean forward without squishing the baby. It will help release some of the tension."

"If you say so," she took the pillow and eased her body forward slowly.

"Just try it." She felt his warm hands on her shoulders and sighed, waves of relaxation washing over her almost instantly. She hadn't realized how tired she was or how sore her body, her whole body was, from the new weight it was carrying. She closed her eyes.

"Do you remember the first time you let me do this?" he asked softly.

"How could I forget?" she murmured into the pillow. "I could have jumped you right then and there."  
He laughed at her sleepiness. "I'm sure."

"And if I had," she continued, "I would have been pregnant then and not now."

"And we probably still would be exhausted. Probably even more so."

"You are no fun, darling," she said.

"There," he smoothed his hands across her shoulders. "Does that feel any better?"

"Much, thank you." She leaned against his shoulder, cradling the pillow to her growing belly.

###

"This is all your fault! Ahhhchooo!" she sneezed.

"How is this my fault?"

"Give me a minute." She waved her hands in front of her face, trying to fend off another sneeze that was building up. It stopped and she frowned, frustrated. "This," she gestured to her ever expanding belly, "this is your fault." She blew her noise.

He thought about it but figured it would be best not to argue that it takes two to tango. "Okay," he said.

"And the cold," the sneeze caught up with her. "Haatchooo! I'm not sure but somehow it is your… ahhahhhahhaa CHOOOO!" she sneezed violently. She flopped down on the couch angrily.

He sat down next to her and stroked her hair. "You know, you are kind of adorable when you sneeze. You almost look helpless and desperate. Not at all like a starship captain."

She threw a pillow at him.

"You really should take the day off."

"You really… achoo! Achoo! Achoo!" she couldn't finish her sentence. Things had not been going well for her this morning. First there was all the sneezing. And even when she wasn't sneezing there was this incessant tickle in her nose. She had then realized with much chagrin that her maternity uniform no longer closed over her baby bump. Her husband had kissed her and told her that that was just fine and they could replicate a new one. She had just scowled at him and sneezed.

Her husband picked up a PADD and casually began reading it. "I know," he said, answering the retort that she had never gotten out. "I really should go tell the Doctor about your sneezing fits. I really should go tell Neelix to alert the crew that the Captain has a very bad cold. I really should go buy more throw pillows."

One of the aforementioned objects pounded him square in the chest.

"Now you know why they call them throw pillows," she sniffed. "I had to replicate a new uniform today," she pouted.

"I know. I saw the casualty on the floor."

"The damn thing must have shrunk."

"Come on, Katie," he hoisted her up into a standing position. "With any luck, I'll get it next and you'll be able to force me to go to sickbay and relax all you like."

She glared at him as they walked out the door and sneezed.

###

"Daddy? Why don't you have a last name?" Chakotay opened his eyes to see his daughter's bright blue eyes very close to his. He glanced at the clock by his bed. 05:30. Iva was perched on the bed in between where her parents were sleeping. No, where her parents were trying to sleep, he sighed.

"Iva," he started, "Why are you…?"

"Anson says you don't have a last name." Figures her brother's know-it-all tendencies would be responsible for this.

"Anson is right," he said.

Another child jumped on the bed, landing heavily on his father's legs. "I told you! I told you he doesn't have a last name!"

"Guys, it is five in the morning. Why are you even awake?" he muttered.

"Couldn't sleep," Anson said as Iva shook hers in agreement.

"And you thought I couldn't either?"

"Mama always says that if you have a question you should ask it."

"Iva, that is true but not at this hour," he rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. His two children laid down on either side of him.

"So why don't you have a last name?" Anson asked.

Chakotay realized that he probably was done sleeping for the day. He sighed and sat up. "Because my father didn't have a last name to give to me. And his father didn't have one to give to him. Your grandfather's people only have one name that everyone knows them by." He looked from his son's eager face to his daughter's more cautious one. "Does that make sense?"

"Why do we have last names?" Iva asked looking a bit confused.

"Because your mama has a beautiful last name and we wanted you both to have it."

"But usually kids have their dad's last names. Like Miral," Anson frowned.

"Sometimes, but not always," he shrugged.

"Will the new baby have our last name?" Iva asked. Chakotay looked over at his wife who was just barely showing and saw that she was holding a throw pillow over her ears, trying in vain to sleep just a bit longer.

"Yes, the new baby will have the same last name as you two and Mama."

"Could you have our last name?" Anson asked. "I mean, if you wanted to?"

"I suppose I could. But wouldn't that make things confusing with so many Janeways on board?" His daughter giggled but his son looked to be thinking over the possibility. "Come on, lets let Mama sleep just a bit more before Janeway number three comes around," he scooped Iva up in his arms. "Why don't you two go get dressed and then we will start on breakfast." He watched as they both left the bedroom then turned back to his wife.

"Kathryn?" he asked softly.

"I have finally figured out what these things are for," she said, her voice muffled by the small pillow.

He leaned over to kiss her on the forehead. "I'm glad."

###

"Iva, how much longer will this take?" Kathryn asked as her seven year old reached for the hairbrush. For years, Kathryn had been braiding her little girls' hair every night before bed and now Iva was learning how to braid as well. She needed someone to practice on though and her little sister flat out refused to let her practice on her long reddish brown hair. The only person Rory Janeway would let come near her with a hairbrush was her mother. When Kathryn was away on missions or diplomatic visits, Chakotay simply let Rory run around with a messy tangle of curls because it was so much easier than pinning her down with a hair tie. Rory didn't even like to sit still while her mother pulled her hair into one French braid or on a lucky today like today, two. Kathryn didn't mind the fact that she had such a small window of opportunity to style her daughter's hair; usually, within five minutes, those reddish brown locks had slipped out of the careful plaits as the four-year old ran, jumped and hung upside down.

Kathryn leaned back against the pillows she had piled by the couch as Iva began running the wooden hairbrush through her mother's long red hair. Kathryn could barely remember the last time she cut it. She thought a moment. It must have been after her wedding. She had chopped her long locks to her shoulders for a more practical hairstyle but then Anson came along and with each passing year she seemed to forget about practicality. Usually she swept it up into a ponytail or quick braid for work, but some days she just left it down with a clip holding part of it back. It was those days that Iva always asked to play with her hair. Tonight, she wasn't sure what she was getting into.

"Be patient, Mama," Iva said as she began to work, gently pulling strands together in an intricate pattern.

Rory sat in her mother's lap, clutching a pillow and spellbound by Iva's quick fingers. Every now and then she would reach up and touch her own braids before snuggling back into her mother's arms. Now she looked up at her mother and said softly, "yeah, Mama. Be patient."

"That is easy for you to say," Kathryn kissed the little girl on the head with a smile as Iva continued to braid. Kathryn smoothed Rory's flyaway curls and snuggled closer to her daughter.

"There," Iva said as she tied off the braid. "What do you think?" She handed her mother a small handheld mirror and Kathryn looked to see what her daughter had done. Instead of one plain braid, Iva had pulled her hair into a gently curving plait that started on the left side of her head and wound its way down to her right shoulder. It looked beautiful.

"Oh Iva, its lovely! How did you learn how to do that?" Kathryn asked, beaming with pride.

"I read it in a book." Of course, Kathryn thought.

"I don't know, Rory," Kathryn said as she turned to her youngest daughter. "I think Iva should take over the braiding from now on." She watched as Rory reached a hand up to feel the braid in her mother's hair.

"Mmmm…" Rory sighed. "Maybe." Kathryn almost laughed. Rory had mastered "yes" and "no" very quickly but she was just now understanding "maybe" and its meaning. It was her new favorite word and her answer to just about everything.

"I like Iva's braids," Kathryn said. "Thank you very much," she reached her arm out to squeeze her older daughter's hand, pulling her into a warm hug. "I love both my girls so much." She gave them each a kiss on the check. "My brilliant, talented, beautiful girls."

"Now," she said, raising off their pile of pillows, "its time to get ready for bed. Your father will be home soon and he'll come tuck you in, okay? Brush teeth, change into pajamas and put today's clothes in the hamper. And if either of you or your brother," she glanced to where Anson was sitting, reading on the couch, oblivious to all that was going on outside his book, "run the toothbrush under the water to make it look like your brushed your teeth when you really didn't, I'll have to call security to investigate." The girls skipped off to their bedroom, well, Iva skipping and Rory chasing and Kathryn gently tossed one of the pillows from the floor at her son. "You too, kiddo. You can read in bed until Dad gets home." Anson got up and started heading for his room, his head buried in the book. She watched to make sure he didn't slam into any walls.

Slowly, she began to tidy up the living room. The hairbrush and comb and an assortment of ribbons and fasteners littered the floor where Iva had been laying before her mother asked if she wanted to braid her hair. She stooped down to collect them all, collecting all the ribbons in a basket, picking up the pillows last of all.

An arm reached around her as she stood up. "Hey there," her husband smiled as he gave her a quick kiss.

"Hey," she said softly, handing him pillow as he helped her straighten up. "Everything okay on the bridge?" she asked.

"All quiet," he said. "And down here?"

"Everyone is getting reading for bed and waiting for you to come tuck them in.

"Someone playing hair salon tonight?" he looked at the basket of ribbons. She nodded. "And is this one of our darling daughter's newest creations?" he touched her long braid.

"Do you like it? I think it is a very nice one."

"Very practical," he laughed. He loved her hair long. He had told her that he would love her no matter what her hair looked like but he had been sad when she went into her practical hair phase. He ran his hand along the braid again. She yawned.

"I'm exhausted," she said. "Are you sure there wasn't anything that happened in beta shift that I need to know about?"

"Do you want to hear about a fluctuating replicator that keeps making bad food on Deck 11 or the fact that all the engineers are petitioning that we install a pool table on the upper level?" he gave her a look.

"Do they have anything to do with coffee or the ability to this ship to continue functioning?"

"Nope."

"Then I suppose it can wait until tomorrow," she sighed.

"That's my girl."

###

"That's it, just a few seconds more," Tom said as he watched her push. "Okay, good job, Kathryn. She's almost here."

She felt her husband's hand resting gently on her back, between the pillow and her surgical gown. She looked at him, at his sweet smiling face and grinned. "Ready?" she asked almost shyly.

"Ready." He gave her hand a squeeze as she began pushing again.


	8. Chapter 8 - Worrying

Note: Part of this story was published separately as my story "Calling Her Katie" but when I started on this chapter, I felt as if that particular scene belonged in this sequence. So here it is again.

Kathryn didn't like to admit it, but she was a worrier. She worried about her ship, her crew, her husband and most often her children. She worried that she wouldn't be able to be the kind of parent they deserved. She worried that they would grow up to resent her and hate that their mother was always being called up to the bridge. She worried that they would grow up too quickly and that she would regret not spending more time with them.

And right now, she worried that she wouldn't be able to give birth to this baby.

###

Kathryn sat in the ready room and wanted to cry. This was it. They had just confirmed it that afternoon. The Starship Voyager was officially in Borg Space.

She had known that this day would come, known it as soon as everyone realized what part of the galaxy their ship had suddenly been tossed to But somewhere deep inside she had been hoping that it would never happen, that they would find a way back home long before she ever had to consider the fact that they were in the most hostile, dangerous part of space a Federation starship could possibly be. But that wasn't to be. It had started off slowly, rumors from trading partners about a robotic race that left destruction in their wake. Then they had found the remains of several Borg drones on a deserted planet. And then the attack. But today was worse.

She had wanted to scream when she saw the confirmation on the navigational charts. She panicked. Every bone and muscle inside her screamed at her to turn the ship around and get out of there as soon as humanly possible. But she couldn't. Home was their goal. And home was through the heart of Borg Space.

Something was wrong with her, she thought. She had faced the Borg before; her ship had been savagely attacked and she had nearly lost her life. Her husband had only told her that story a couple of months before.

_They had been sitting like this the entire night; Kathryn, her slender form hidden under a bulky sweatshirt of his, sat with her legs drawn up under her and her head gently resting on his shoulder as she read. Every now and then he would hear her make a little noise to herself as she made a notation on her report, but mostly she was silent and focused. He sat next to her, his legs resting up on the old coffee table he had built for them on New Earth. A computer sat in his lap as he tried to focus on what he was reading. It wasn't easy. Unlike his wife who had the latest reports on the construction of their new shuttle, he had a manifest of food stores to review. As if they didn't have enough leola roots already._

_ He sighed and closed the laptop. "Katie, I'm going to turn in," he said stretching his arms and feeling the stiff muscles pull against him._

_ His wife didn't look up. "Hmmm?" she murmured as she readjusted her position on the couch since her headrest had decided to move._

_ "I'm going to bed, Katie, and I think you should too."_

_ A yawn escaped her as she staked the PADDs on the table. "I suppose so," she paused, thinking. "Chakotay?"_

_ "Yeah?"_

_ "When did you start calling me "Katie"?" she asked._

_ He smiled. "Officially, when your mother told me I should."_

_ She looked puzzled at that. "And unofficially?"_

_ "The night I sat with you in sickbay after our first Borg attack." He stood up and walked into the bedroom. Kathryn stood and followed him quietly, a look of concern playing across her features. She didn't remember much about that night, only what she had heard afterwards. It had been almost two years ago, less than two years after they had found themselves stranded in the Delta Quadrant. She'd been trapped on the bridge during the attack and had been knocked out and badly burned before the rescue teams could get to her. It had been Chakotay who found her and who had carried her in his arms to sickbay. He was just her first officer then, she remembered, before New Earth and before they had fallen in love._

_ "You stayed with me the whole night, didn't you?" she said._

_ He turned to see her standing in the doorway, looking at him intently. "Yes," he finally said. "Yes I did. You were in pretty rough shape that night. The Doctor poured a liter of blood into you and god knows what sorts of drugs before starting the surgery. He wanted me out of there but I absolutely refused to leave you. So I scrubbed in and I held your hand as the Doctor worked. You were in surgery for nearly six hours. By the end of it, we didn't know if you were going to live or die._

_ "The Doctor pulled me aside and told me that you would probably not wake up until the morning, if ever. If you made it through the night, he said, you'd live. So I stayed. I sat next to you and I talked to you all night long."_

_ Kathryn bit her lip as she watched her husband relive that horrible night. He saw her eyes glistening and he reached out a hand to her. Gratefully, she took it and fell into his arms as silent tears fell down her face. He held her tightly._

_ "Do you know what I said to you, while we sat there?" he asked._

_ She shook her head no._

_ "I said, 'Goddammit, Katie, if you die now I'll never forgive you!'" Kathryn giggled in spite of herself. He continued, "I told you over and over how I couldn't command this ship without you and how wonderful a person you were. I kept saying, 'For gods' sake, live Katie!' over and over and over until I knew you hear me."_

_ "And I did," she said softly._

_ "Yes you did. Do you want to know why I called you Katie that night?"_

_ "Yes I do," she admitted._

_ "Well, I do too," a slow grin spread across his face. "I don't know why I did it. It just felt like the right thing to say at the time. As you laid there on that biobed, with tubes and wires covering your body, all I thought was that you were my Katie and that I would never let you go._

_ "When the Doctor left for the triage center we had built in the mess hall, I started having actual conversations with you as if you were awake, right there with me. I told you how much I had enjoyed spending time on New Earth with you, getting to know Kathryn not the Captain. I told you how sometimes I had wished we had stayed there and that I had built the boat and you had finished the loom and we had your garden in the summer, and that I had always hoped that we would one day get to build a nursery on to the cabin." He held her hands tightly in his, as he looked deep into her eyes. "I told you that I loved you, Katie, and that I always would." He sighed._

_ "You woke up right after I said that, you know," he said smiling. "You had a look on your face as soon as you opened your eyes like you wanted to say something, something to me, but you just stared. Once we knew you were in stable condition, the Doctor forced me to go home and to sleep, lest I take up permanent residency in his office," he laughed at that and Kathryn could just imagine that battle of wills._

_ "I had no idea that you've been calling me Katie that long," she said as she raised a hand to trace his tattoo. "I had always just thought you had heard someone say it once and that you liked it."_

_ "That did happen too," he said. "Your mother wrote me a letter right after we made transmission contact with Earth, about the time we got engaged. The letter was titled, "Call Her Katie, Already." He grinned. "She seemed to think that you needed to hear it."_

_ Kathryn smiled. "She was right. I like it when you call me Katie."  
"I like it too." _

The attack had been a horrible experience that had left everyone on the ship badly shaken. This was worse though. Now she was pregnant.

She had thought of all the dangerous situations that she had faced in her life. Of course she had been scared but now there was another life involved, someone whose very existence was intricately linked with hers. Whatever she faced, her baby faced too and it was that thought that terrified her more than anything else.

She had been so excited when she found out she was pregnant. Everyone was. This would be the first child born and conceived on Voyager and to top it all off, it was the Captain and First Officer's baby. The crew had already thrown them two baby showers and were planning a third for when she went on maternity leave. That was only a few weeks away. She glanced at her desk and spotted one of the gifts from her senior officers, a book about how to tell if you were having a boy or a girl. There were lots of silly tricks inside it, like holding a watch over your belly to see which direction it swung, analyzing what types of food you craved and counting the number of times you sneezed. There were more practical types too, like looking at the way an expectant mother carried herself and gained baby weight. Her absolute favorite method was on the back page of the book. Tom Paris had written, "Go get a medical tricorder and put us all out of our misery!" They had all laughed at that but tonight Kathryn couldn't help but wonder if she should follow his advice. What if something were to happen to her and she lost the baby? She wanted to meet this child, she wanted to know him and she was terrified that because of the Borg, she might never have that opportunity.

The door to the Ready Room swished open and Kathryn looked up to see her husband standing in the doorway.

"Hi," he said softly, coming over to sit with her on the couch. "You've been off the bridge for sometime. I just wanted to make sure…" He looked at her face. "Oh Katie, what's wrong?"

"I can't do this!" a sob burst out of her and the tears started running down her cheeks. "I can't. I just can't."

He held her tightly in his arms, stroking her hair. "Shhhhh," he whispered, "It's okay."

"No! It's not okay! I'm pregnant in the most dangerous part of the universe! Something could happen. Again! What if it did? What if I was trapped on the bridge, just like before, only now…" her hands fell to her swollen belly. "Oh gods, Chakotay, what have we done?"

He held her shoulders firmly and looked into her eyes. "Kathryn, listen to me. This is going to be okay. The baby is going to be just fine and so are you. We learned our lesson with that first cube. Darling, that was almost two years ago and we haven't had an encounter since. We have learned a lot since then too. This ship is stronger and safer than her designers ever could have imagined. And it's all because of you."

"All of this is because of me!" she choked out. "All of this! Being suck in this godforsaken quadrant, thinking we could start a family…"

"We are not going to do this. Not now. You are spiraling, Katie." He held her hands tightly. "You and I, together, made all of those decisions. I knew what I was getting into when I destroyed my ship and I certainly knew what I was getting into when we decided to get married. This is part of our job, our life out here. To face uncertain danger. It is going to happen, no matter where we are. Racing home or trying to find a secret way home or back on New Earth. The Borg would find us. That is just the way of things."

"But then what is the point?" she asked angrily.

"Because we cannot simply surrender our lives because we know danger is out there. This isn't a suicide mission. We have to keep fighting back because more often than not we get lucky. Like how I got lucky that of all the ships, I got you. Like how you feel in love with me the way I did nearly the first moment I saw you. And like how we are able to have a baby. A beautiful, healthy baby who is going to be just fine." He brushed a strand of hair out of her face and wiped away her tears with his thumb.

"Do you think I should resign?" she asked so quietly he could barely hear.

"What? Of course not! Why…?"

"Because I think I should, Chakotay. I don't think I can make the choices I need to make to protect this crew and this ship without thinking of this little one." She took both his hands in hers and pressed them against her growing belly. "I mean, for gods' sake, I won't even go down with this ship!"

"That's okay, you know," he sighed. "Actually, people aren't supposed to do that sort of thing anymore." He almost laughed.

"Oh gods, I'm a wreck!" she said shakily. "I can't help but worry about all these things, its like they are just whirling around in my head until they come bursting forth like this," she sighed. "It would be so much easier to just step down and let you handle this voyage of the damned."

"So I can come home at night and tell you how worried I am that I might get this ship blown up and kill my pregnant wife?" Now he laughed. "It doesn't matter who sits in that chair anymore. The decisions that need to be made on this ship aren't like any other in the fleet. Everyone from Tuvok down to little Naomi will be worried about keeping everyone on this ship alive, no matter the cost. And that includes you, regardless of if you are pregnant or not."

He held her face in his hands. "You are doing phenomenally in all this, Katie. I can't tell you how impressed I am with your strength and your courage. But you are allowed to be scared. Every captain is. What we are doing and where we are is absolutely terrifying and yes even more so because you're knocked up." This got a giggle out of his wife. "I trust you, Kathryn Janeway. If you want to take the long way around Borg Space, I trust you. I know that you will make the right decisions for this ship and this crew and for our family. And when you reach 32 weeks, I'll take over the chair on the right and I'll stay there as long as you need me too."

"You mean it?"

"Yes," he kissed her on the forehead. "I mean it. If you decide to resign and stay home with the baby I'll stand by you. If you decide that you want to turn the ship around and crash it into the nearest habitable world, I'll stand by you. And if you want to switch chairs for the foreseeable future, I'll stand by you. Or sit by you." She laughed. "It doesn't matter to me, so long as I'm with you."

She smiled at him gratefully. When they had decided that she would take maternity leave at 32 weeks and that he would become acting captain, she had expected that he would be the one in need of reassurance that he could handle the job. She knew he could. She had known it for as long as she had known him. Maybe he would worry about it later. But that was for another time.

"They never tell you about this stuff in command school," she sighed. "They say, 'oh sure you can have a family and captain your ship, just don't call us when your water breaks and you are facing down a Borg Armada!'"

"Funny, I don't remember that particular lecture," he laughed. "And you are not going into labor on the bridge. I've got 30 replicator rations on this room right here and with your cravings we are going to need every last one we can get."

She gave him a grin and then looked at him seriously again. "I'm sorry for panicking."

"Blame the hormones, and no need to apologize. I signed up for this, remember?" his fingers tapped her wedding band.

They sat together for a long time, neither one of them wanting to face the reports that they would need to read, the tactical and strategic plans they would have to create and the battle drills they would have to practice. For now, they just sat with their hands on her belly, feeling their unborn child and protecting him from whatever they might find tomorrow.

###

"I can't…" she gasped.

"You can."

"Chakotay, I …"

"One more, Katie, that's all."


	9. Chapter 9 - She's Finally Here

Several hours later:

Kathryn gazed lovingly into the eyes of her tiny newborn daughter. Every now and then, the baby would open her bright blue eyes and gaze up at her mother, before closing them again and drifting back into sleep. She was a beautiful baby, just like her sisters and brother had been. She was perfect, the Doctor had pronounced, 6lbs 11oz with a full head of pale brown hair. Maura Janeway was three hours old.

After spending a little time alone with the new baby, she and Chakotay had decided that it was time to introduce her to her siblings. He had left about 10 minutes ago and she was expecting him back any moment, with three very excited children in tow. She looked down at the baby and smiled. "There are whole lot of people who are very anxious to meet you, little one," she whispered. Maura reached a tiny hand out of her blanket and grasped Kathryn's fingers. In the effort, she shrugged off the little hat that one of the biologists had made, exposing her tiny pink ears. When the baby was born, her ears had been folded forward, closed and almost touching her cheeks. Slowly though, the ears unfolded and opened up like a butterfly testing its wings before its first flight. Kathryn reached gently down and delicately stroked one of the perfect little ears. Maura gurgled a little and turned towards the touch of her mother.

The sickbay doors opened and Anson and Iva walked in slowly, both in their pajamas, Anson in a pair of flannel pants and a Starfleet academy shirt several sizes too big and Iva in a short pale nightgown and leggings. Together they made their way over to the biobed as their father came in, carrying their little sister in his arms.

"Guys," Chakotay said, "come meet your new baby sister," he called, beckoning them over. Everyone crowded around so that they could see a better view.

"She's so tiny!" Iva said softly.

Kathryn reached a hand out to cup her oldest daughter's cheek. "You were once this tiny, you know. Here, hop up on the bed with me." Anson and Iva climbed up on either side of her, resting their heads on her shoulders as they gazed at the baby.

"What's her name?" Anson finally asked. Chakotay looked at Kathryn but she shook her head. It was his turn to announce the name.

"Her name is Maura. Maura Elizabeth Janeway," he said proudly.

"Maura," Anson said trying it out. "I knew it. I knew you had to go with Maura."

"Ever since you three started calling her that when she was in your mother's belly. I don't think we had a choice," he jokingly frowned at his daughter in his arms. "What do you think, Rory? Little fishy baby is here."

Rory was silent, clutching her Flotter and holding on to her father very tightly. Anson and Iva, on the other hand, were already enchanted by their new little sister.

"When will she open her eyes?" Iva asked. "When will she be coming home? Is she going to cry a lot like Rory did?"

"Slow down, Iva," her father chided.

"She will be coming home tomorrow. The baby and I have to spend tonight in sickbay just in case. And yes, Iva, she'll cry. All babies cry," Kathryn explained. "And if you watch her for a little while, she might just open her eyes. She has the same color eyes as you."

"Really?" Iva beamed.

"Really. She is your sister. She is going to look a lot like you when she gets older. You'll see."

"If she cries, can we send her back?" Rory finally spoke up. Her parents laughed.

"No sweetheart," Chakotay kissed her on the head. "The baby is here to stay."

Rory didn't seem to like that idea.

"It's alright, Rory," her brother said, trying to comfort her. "When you were a baby, you screamed so much I asked if we could give you away and get a quieter baby."

"No!" Rory giggled.

"It's true!" her brother insisted. "When you were a toddler, I put out an ad offering to sell you."

His mother looked at him quizzically. "I never heard about that one."

"Uncle Tom made me promise never to do it again and he wouldn't tell."

"Is that so?" Kathryn looked up at her husband and grinned.

Iva stifled a yawn and Rory started rubbing her eyes.

"Okay guys," their father said. "You've got two choices. Since Mama and I have to stay with baby Maura in sickbay, you can either have Neelix come over or a sleep over at Tom and B'Elanna's."

Immediately, all three kids said, "Tom and B'Elanna's." Neelix may have been a favorite babysitter of Naomi's but the prospect of a sleep over with Owen and Miral was a special treat.

"Alright, lets go home and get packed," Chakotay called. "It's almost bedtime. Kiss your Mama goodnight."

Kathryn turned to give Anson and Iva a hug and a kiss as they scurried out the door. Chakotay leaned down so Rory could reach her mother. "Good night my baby," she said. "I'll see you in the morning."


	10. Chapter 10 - Injuries

Four months later:

"Dad?" Iva poked her head in the doorway furtively.

"Hey kiddo," her father gave her a tired smile from the bed.

"Mama said you were resting."

"Trying to," he said. "Did you guys just get home?"

Iva nodded, leaning up against the doorframe and tracing a pattern on the floor with her foot. "Mama said you hurt your leg."

Chakotay rolled his eyes at that and sighed. The way Kathryn put it, it sounded like he had stubbed his toe instead of getting his leg crushed when one of the shuttles crashed into the Cargo Bay. Luckily, he had been the only one seriously hurt. The Doctor had fitted him with a metal brace that extended from hip to heel and gave him several doses of bone knitters but it still didn't change the fact that he had three fractures in his leg. And a very ticked-off wife. Maybe that was why she had minimized the severity of the accident to their eldest daughter. He groaned inwardly; or maybe his wife didn't want to burden their nine year old with all the details of her father's dangerous accident.

"Yeah, Iva. I hurt my leg pretty bad," he finally said.

"And you have to wear that brace for a couple of days?"

"Until my bones heal yes."

Iva stopped her distracted movements. "Does it hurt?"

"Yes it does."

"Did you cry?" she asked quietly.

"No but I did yell."

"Did you say grown-up words?"

"Maybe." He patted the bed next to where he was resting. "C'mere. I'm all right, Iva. Really." His daughter hopped up on the bed and studied him closely.

"You don't look all right," she said after inspecting him. "Your face is all bruised and you have puffy spots under your eyes."

"A bulkhead crashed into me when we were trying to get the shuttle under control."

"Mama said you shouldn't have gone down there."

"Oh really?" Chakotay looked up to see his wife in the doorway, just as their daughter had been, the baby in her arms. "What else did Mama say?" he smiled.

"She said that if she had been on duty they would have used a tractor beam and not tried to steer a broken shuttle through a storage bay door," Iva said, eyeing her mother cautiously.

"Did you tell your mother that a tractor beam would have overloaded the engines and caused an explosion that would have been even more dangerous?"

Iva shook her head. "She said you didn't have to go down there to help."

He wasn't looking at Iva anymore. "I know, Iva, I know. But they needed help down there, so I went. I think Mama was just afraid that something would happen to me."

"Something did," his daughter reminded him as she pointed at his leg. "Your leg got smooshed."

"Is that the technical term for it, Dr. Janeway?" he laughed as she giggled. "Smooshed?"

"Smashed!" Iva said as she leaned her small head against his shoulder.

"Iva, I know Mama is worried about me," he glanced at Kathryn and saw a tear escape her eyes. "That is what moms do. But you don't need to worry, okay? I'll be back to having two legs in no time." He kissed her on the head.

"In the meantime, I get to sit here and relax with you until your mother remembers that the reason she came in here was to hand me the baby so she can deal with the mountain of paper work I am currently neglecting."

"I wouldn't call it 'neglecting'" Kathryn said with a smile. "More like medically not approved to even attempt to do it."

"One of the perks of being smooshed," he told Iva.

"Here," Kathryn walked into the room and placed their four month old daughter in his arms. "I think the two of you could both use a nap," she reached over to smooth his rumpled hair. "What do you say, Iva?" Want to go do your homework while I do Daddy's job and mine?" she smiled.

"Want to or have to?" Iva frowned.

"Go on, and get your brother too. I'll be out in a moment," Kathryn assured her. "Let's let Dad rest a little longer."

"Thanks for topping by," he gave her another quick kiss on the head before she hopped down and skipped out of the room. He looked down at the baby in his arms. Maura was contently sucking her pacifier looking up at him with her bright blue eyes. Kathryn had worried that her eyes would turn brownish hazel like her sisters' after birth but Maura's stayed blue. He reached a finger to lovingly stroke her cheek. Finally he looked up.

Kathryn was pacing around the room. She had unzipped her uniform coat and he could see how her grey tunic clung to her slim figure. Seeing her like that made it hard to believe that only four months earlier her belly had been full and round, carrying the tiny little girl he held in his arms.

"Did Iva just about cover it?" he asked quietly.

She turned to face him, a sad smile on her face. "Oh Chakotay." She sat down on the side of the bed, her hands reaching out to touch her youngest daughter's. "I thought…" she choked on the words.

"I know."

"You shouldn't have done it."

"I know."

"If you ever do something that stupid again…" she trailed off as her voice died in her throat. "All these years, you sat here and you worried about me. Through every attack, through every away mission, every single time I stubbornly put myself at risk, you told me not to and then you watched as I did it anyway."

"You did the same thing for me," he said quietly.

"Somehow, this was different. Now I know I could never be a civilian spouse. Forces they can't even see control so much of their world. An admiral adjusting fleet positions, a new development along the neutral zone. They have to live with the consequences of someone else's choices only they don't know about it until after." She wiped the tears from her cheeks. "They didn't tell me about the shuttle until you were already in sickbay."

"I know. I told them not to."

"If I had ordered you to go that would have been different. If you had disobeyed my command to stay on the bridge, that would have been different. But … this time, I wasn't…"

"Katie, it wasn't like that. It was a foolish decision made in a nanosecond without all the facts in front of us. I did what I thought I could to bring our boys home safe. And thank the gods it worked."

"Yes it did. You did good, darling." She rose and picked up a stack of PADDs from the nightstand. "You'll be all right with her?" she asked.

"We'll be fine.


End file.
